Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
