you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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