To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
