Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
