Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he was CRYING into my vagina
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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