brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
