I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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