so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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