Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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