i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
