You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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