She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
