Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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