We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
