i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
