dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
