I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
