Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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