coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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