he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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