Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You ruined the universe
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
