its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
did i just pee glitter
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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