Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
