i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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