Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
