He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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