i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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