so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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