I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
