he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
