I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
