and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
