It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
