I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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