don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
There are leaves in my underwear?
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