Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
