I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
