You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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