Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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