my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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