I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
