Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
