i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
