I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the raccoons are back...
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