I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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