Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
