Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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