Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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