OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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