Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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