think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
