Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he was CRYING into my vagina
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
