She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
