I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Randomize
