I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
