im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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